Praise the Anti-Whale God! 650 Beached, over Half Dead in New Zealand!

Posted: February 11th, 2017 | Author: | Filed under: Beached | Tags: | No Comments »

While sitting here in America, thinking that dark times are looming ahead with an angry cheeto for a president, a ray of light cut through the clouds and granted this American a happy day! Over 650 pilot whales have beached themselves upon a remote shore in New Zealand, and over half are already dead.

I wish I as there, so I could kick the carcass of each and every one of them.

Before you start to feel bad for these morons, note that “Pilot whales are notorious for stranding themselves on beaches, and are among the most common cetacean stranders” (source). Cuz they are a bunch of stupid lemmings and if one goes, the rest go.

Can you believe that the humans are making a’human chain’ to keep these assholes from stranding? Eff that. Carve ’em up, make some whale stew.

I wish this was me. While tagging one of the whales with some spray paint. I’d write

A Whale of a Time

Posted: February 1st, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Beached, Comic | No Comments »


Appropriate Meme

Posted: January 22nd, 2016 | Author: | Filed under: Beached | No Comments »

Yay NorCal! Fifth Dead Whale In 3 Weeks Washes Ashore NorCal Beach

Posted: July 1st, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Beached, Humpback, Whale | 1 Comment »

Not sure what’s up with NorCal, but it makes me appreciate the northern part of this state oh so much more than the southern part. Los Angeles, you are way behind on beached whales. Get on that!
The best part? The beached whale is a HUMPBACK. On my list of least to most hated whales, Humpback are at the top of MOST HATED.
Also, this is a female humpback. So one less whale to pump out baby whales.

Here is the article with all the information

Damn, check out this beached whale list:

  • The 32 foot long humpback, with 4 broken bones and hemorrhaging
  • 48 foot male sperm whale
  • 25 foot killer whale
  • Two grey whales
  • Another 40 foot grey whale
  • 23 foot yearling (with killer whales teeth marks – GO KILLER WHALES!)

Even killer whales hate other whales. Killer Whales are my LEAST hated whale. SO they can die out last.

So based on that alone, there was at least 200 feet of WHALE beached. Disgusting. Think about all that whale in the ocean, just whaling around. /shudder

Stupid Whale Ruins 17th Century Painting

Posted: June 5th, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Beached, Whale | No Comments »

What WAS a lovely, calm 17th-century Dutch painting became a goddamn nightmare after art conservators were cleaning the image and ‘unearthed’ a hidden beached whale.

Apparently dumbass whales were all the rage when the painting was created, but about one to two centuries later, people came to their wits and realized a nasty ass whale carcass doesn’t exactly make for great art. So they painted over the jerk whale. The conservation group even admitted that the whale was probably considered offensive and/or reduced value of the painting. HAH.

Check out the painting below – it looked a heckuva lot better before that goddamn whale carcass resurfaced.


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