To blow up or not blow up a whale carcass

Stupid ass whale carcass is hogging up some beach front. Oregon has already shown that you shouldn’t blow up a whale – it doesn’t work out so well.
Whales are SO disgusting that even other sea critters won’t eat their nasty ass carcass. If all whales went away, we wouldn’t have this problem anymore 🙂

stupid whale carcass

Full Story:
“It’s that time of year again—a dead whale has washed ashore, and officials aren’t sure what to do with the rotting carcass because there’s a possibility that it could explode.

The 15 tonne, severely bloated and slightly decayed animal graced the shores of Saintes-Marie-de-la-Mer, near Montpellier, France, earlier this month. Having closed off the beach to the public, French authorities are now trying to come up with a plan of action for the rotting whale.

At the moment, it’s unclear whether disposing of the animal by land or by sea would be best, but one idea that’s been thrown out there is to drag the carcass out to sea and then blow it up with dynamite. However, this is hindered by the fact that boats can’t get close enough to the whale due to the presence of sand banks, The Local reports. Another master plan is to chop it up into little bits and then dispose of the chunks elsewhere, but we all know what happens when we start jabbing things into dead whales:
Dead whales can explode because of a build-up of pressure that results from the accumulation of gases inside the body. These gases, which include methane and carbon dioxide, come from the putrefaction and fermentation of the animal’s tissues after death. Often, the pressure gets released through natural weak points such as the mouth or anus, but a bite from a hungry shark or the knife of a curious marine biologist would also do it.

It is possible to relieve the pressure in a controlled manner with gentle incisions, but this can go horribly wrong if they penetrate too far. One unlucky person learned this the hard way, and ended up being flung into the air with the animal’s exploding guts. However, the person was standing on top of it, which was probably not the most sensible thing to do. “

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BLUE WHALE ATTACKS SHIP!!

A blue whale visciously attacked a ship recently in San Diego

Close up of the horrifying monster that attacked the ship:

The monster supposedly was trying to feed on krill, but it’s obvious it was targeting the humans upon the ship. Fortunately, no one was hurt…. yet.

BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!

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Stupid Whale Ruins 17th Century Painting

What WAS a lovely, calm 17th-century Dutch painting became a goddamn nightmare after art conservators were cleaning the image and ‘unearthed’ a hidden beached whale.

Apparently dumbass whales were all the rage when the painting was created, but about one to two centuries later, people came to their wits and realized a nasty ass whale carcass doesn’t exactly make for great art. So they painted over the jerk whale. The conservation group even admitted that the whale was probably considered offensive and/or reduced value of the painting. HAH.

Check out the painting below – it looked a heckuva lot better before that goddamn whale carcass resurfaced.

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Asshole thinks it’s great to have dead whale on beach

So the aforementioned town that got stuck with dead whale carcasses has an update.

A museum in Canada might take those nasty ass bodies. Don’t forget, blue whales are the largest, nastiest of all the whales and these fuckers are getting all bloated, rotting and extra stank and might explode, too (see prior post for bloated body pic).
Check this dumb ass quote out: “I think now people are beginning to realize that how often does a blue whale wash up on your beach? It’s pretty awesome to have it there,” said Parsons”.
No, no it’s NOT awesome to have a huge, bloating, rotting baleen mutherfukker carcass or two on your beach, bitch.

And why the fuck do you need a permit to move a dead whale carcass!? WHAT? Psh.

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Even dead, whales still suck!!

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A stupid whale was SO stupid, that instead of sinking to the bottom of the ocean to complete the circle of life after it dead, it’s stupid body washed ashore and is now terrorizing a local sea side community in Newfoundland.

Bad enough it’s stank ass is rotting away on the beach, but it’s swelling and bloating. On top of it’s stinky, air polluting carcass, it’ll cost the town a lot of money to either haul it back out to sea or bury it.

I love how half the comments are about shooting the dead whale body to release the gas that is causing it to bloat!!

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Dah Fuq?? Japan accepts court ban on Antarctic whaling!

Apparently the International Court of “Justice” has decided to tell Japan they can’t hunt whales anymore in the Antarctic. Who gives a shit if it was for ‘medical research’ OR commercial endeavors? It’s Japan’s business if they want to hunt whales.

Guess what? Not every goddamn whale is on the extinction list, OK? Stupid Minke Whales are on the NOT AT RISK list, and there are over half a million of those fuckers in OUR seas!

I’m so sorry, Japan, that Australia got all hoity toity on you and totally imposed their BS cultural norms on yah. 🙁

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AntiWhale.Org is Still Kickin’ and Hatin’

Do you know that I have been running this site since 2002?
OVER FOURTEEN YEARS!

And I still hate whales just as much, if not more.
My friend went to Iceland recently and got to eat whale. If this isn’t a tourist attraction, I don’t know what is.

My hatred of whales is so well known that the Japanese business unit of a company I worked at sent me a can of whale meat. For the record, it tasted like cat food. Or how I would imagine cat food to taste.

I will start posting updates again. I don’t feel like bothering with a Facebook Page for this site unless for some reason there is high demand. Please send me any interesting articles, news, etc that shares our hate of whales. Whether it is a mass beaching, other countries over-whaling, or animals attacking and eating whales, I wanna hear it.

Love,
Sparky

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Road Trip to Greenland!!

According to this article, Greeland is serving up delicious whale meet, including endangered whale meat!! Get it while it’s still available, people!

“The research by WDCS and the Animal Welfare Institute found that 24 out of 31 restaurants visited, contacted or researched online offered whale meat to tourists. The groups said that meals available to tourists included whale burgers, buffets with whale meat for cruise ship passengers, whale pasta and Thai and sushi dishes. They said a significant proportion of the estimated 200,000 meals served to tourists in the country each year contained whale meat.”

mmmmmm

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Stupid whales keep pestering New Zealand

Full article here

Fifty-eight pilot whales died after they washed onto an isolated beach in northern New Zealand and rescue volunteers’ initial efforts to refloat 15 others that survived failed Friday.
A fresh attempt to save the 15 beached sea mammals — which weigh up to 3,300 pounds (1,500 kilograms) each — will be made early Saturday, using machinery including a crane and transporter, said Department of Conservation acting area manager Mike Davies.
The 73 pilot whales probably stranded during the night on remote Karikari Beach which is why so many died before they were discovered, said the department’s community relations manager, Carolyn Smith.
New Zealand frequently sees several mass whale strandings around its coastline, mainly each summer as whales pass by on their migration to and from Antarctic waters. Scientists have not been able to determine why whales become stranded.
A pod of 101 pilot whales stranded on the same beach in 2007.
Kimberly Muncaster, chief executive of the Project Jonah whale aid group, said the 15 surviving whales were in “fairly poor condition.”
About 40 people tried to refloat them at high tide on Friday. Among those helping the department were trained volunteers from the Far North Whale Rescue group.
Davies said the 15 whales would not need to be sedated for Saturday’s second rescue attempt using the heavy equipment as they were already in quite a docile state.
“The plan at first light will be to remove the … whales across about 1 kilometer (half a mile) of road by transporter and refloat them in (nearby) Matai Bay,” he said, where sea conditions would be easier and the bay more sheltered.
New Zealand has one of the world’s highest rates of whale strandings, according to the Department of Conservation. Since 1840, more than 5,000 strandings of whales and dolphins have been recorded around the New Zealand coast.

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WHALE ATTACK: Whale wallops South African yacht, snapping mast

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CAPE TOWN, South Africa – A yachter in South Africa says her trip off the country’s picturesque southwestern coast was wrecked by an unexpected whack from a whale.
Paloma Werner said Wednesday the whale breached just feet (meters) from their boat in Cape Town’s waters on Sunday. It whacked the yacht, snapping the mast in two. A local newspaper showed a photo, captured by a passenger on a nearby boat, of a massive black whale towering over the yacht. Werner says neither she nor her companion were hurt, and she saw the whale swimming around minutes after the collision. She says she feels lucky that the mast took the brunt of the blow.
The seas around Cape Town are teeming with whales and great white sharks during the winter months, which fall in the middle of the year

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